My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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