Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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