I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
