Come see our sink grown plant.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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