ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I intend to get homeless drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
