he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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