But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
