I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
