I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
