Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
