You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
