Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
