I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize