Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
