I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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