I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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