I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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