so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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