I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
