Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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