I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
