Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
