If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
