My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
