Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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