We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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