New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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