pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
