I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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