I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Everyone says I win the strip club
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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