I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
