Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
