I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize