Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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