Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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