We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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