do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize