He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
