You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
