Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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