i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
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My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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