i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
