I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
