I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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