Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
