She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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