I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
