i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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