What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
