Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
