Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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