Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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