Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
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Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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