Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
