I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
