Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize