Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
