I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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