I wish my penis had an off switch
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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