Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
