So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
