Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
