Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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